Morning! Wipe that crusty sleep from your reluctantly open, post-weekend eyes – WJ have a short, sharp and important announcement. You see, our capital can be an overwhelming place to see live music, but fortunately this feature now exists and guess what? It’s here to sift through the streams of gigs listed in London in order to advise you on unmissable shows every week. With a twist, that is. Remember that stale old surrealist game called ‘Consequences’, which used to prompt Nan to dig around the kitchen drawers for emergency writing untensils and scrap bits of paper every Christmas? Well, it’s not so stale after all - mostly thanks to this week’s hottest live acts contributing a segment each. Are you ready? The first ever short story begins now…
(1) The beautiful and mysterious (2) Beppe Di Marco (3) met the grizzly (4) Flora (5) in the queue for the ladies toilets; (6) he gave her a full body massage (7) and said to her: “You and I have 574 Facebook friends in common.”(8) She said to him: “To infinity … and beyond!”; and (9) the consequence was that the sun appeared from behind a cloud and rapidly turned a fierce red. The land turned to cake and the rivers turned to cream. Everybody floated upside down in dessert. The pandas finally cheered up and started a love sesh in the new cakey eco system to repopulate earth as a cream-surfing furry nation. (10) After all this, they both grew an extra finger. He had a blue one, quite big, on his chest and she grew more of a mustard-yellow claw. It protruded from the back of her head and poked through her pony tail. The world said, “A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life.”
(1) Understandably you’re jaded. As the clock strikes three this afternoon, thoughts will automatically turn to the ever-alluring option of a big jumper, quick TV dinner and something trashy on the box, right? Wrong. Parody pop-starts The Midnight Beast (image) play the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire and if you were one of the 50 million Youtube views that propelled them to prominence, you’ll undoubtedly want to be there to mouth-along to that comedy number about masturbation. Tickets are still available via See Tickets.
(2) But if that sounds a touch crude, then The Lexington on Pentonville Road hosts the glorious, emotionally-charged electro duo Man Without Country - who’ll be playing tracks from their debut album ‘Foe’ in support of San Franciscan shoegazers Tamaryn. TicketWeb are flogging entry for a very reasonable £10.
(3) Of course, if you’re pennyless and the above options aren’t viable, then save what few spare coins you have for a drink or two tomorrow night. Hypnotising dream-pop foursome Fear Of Men are launching their new single ‘Mosaic’ with a FREE show at The Old Blue Last on Great Eastern Street. Buzzy support and a celebratory atmos are a near certainty.
(4) Being sardine-packed into The Sebright Arms on Wednesday evening is the place to be. Brand new funkadelic outfit Night Engine have been titilating tastemakers over the past fortnight and they’ll be playing their debut London show. It’s sold out of course, but this one’s a must-blag taking place at an small venue prior to their invitable explosion.
(5) If you have spent the previous night trying, and indeed failing, to squeeze into a Bethnal Green pub, then My Tiger My Timing at E8′s Shacklewell Arms on Thursday is, on the contrary, a surefire bet. Visit the Bomb Shop and book yourself a night of fidgety, tribal electro for a fiver.
(6) Although, if that’s a tad sugary for you, glitchy Glaswegian’s Errors are headlining Heaven and they’ve got support from brilliant producer Dam Mantle who’ll be warping minds with his other-worldly debut ‘Brother’s Fowl’. You can snap up a place at this 14+ event over at Gigs and Tours.
(7) Just like buses, all good things come at once. So the very same night, rousing rock’n'roll hearthrobs Gaoler’s Daughter will grace the stage at the Bull & Gate to raise cash for Oxjam Camden - and hopefully, unleash their irresistable recent single ‘When We Were Young’. We Got Tickets have indeed, for just £5.00.
(8) Friday night is all about Bastille – the moniker of London-based multi-instrumentalist Dan Smith. If you want to experience his shiver-inducing, chart-bound electronica in the flesh, jump back on the Northern Line and head for the KOKO Camden.
(9) Looking for something a little more rugged? Look no further than the band directly preceding him, Death At Sea. Their spiky, Liverpool-bred noise will get hearts racing and heads sweat-drenched. Viagogo is the go-to for tickets.
(10) Sunday can be fun too, you know – especially when Howl puts on new bands as brilliantly mysterious as Amusement. Fresh from topping the bill at Dalston’s new favourite hangout Birthdays, enjoy this Croydon duo’s bewitching synth pop in the intimate Lock Tavern for FREE.