Ever wondered what it would be like to see two of your favourite boybands smashed together to make one football team sized manband? Well look no further.
For every generation of teenage girl there is a glut of boybands fighting for radiowaves and limelight. From The Monkeys and The Jackson Five all the way through to One Direction and JLS, it’s become abundantly clear to both labels and teenage girls that the boyband is here to stay and have prepubescent knickers thrown at it.
However the difficult and shocking thing to consider is that eventually these bands must grow up into groups of 4 or more adult men.
If they’re talented enough they may traverse the difficult path to respected song writer, producer or solo musician, become a judge on a talent show or even appear on the Buzzcocks line up. The ultimate however, the holy grail, is the comeback tour. Their once teen, now middle aged, fan base flock to see their idols try not to burst out of leather trousers or get a hernia in a breakdance battle.
That was until the boybandsupergroupmashup (#BBSGMU) came into effect. Effectively giving license to the aforementioned groups of adult men to gang up and become larger groups of adult men, thereby theoretically doubling their audience and ticket sales.
With the news this week of the formation of BBSGMU New Kids On The Backstreet Boys I take a look at other possible hybrid manbands of the future.
Definitely one of the more serious vocal groups, there is little doubt they could still actually provide a solid performance. I imagine Westlife would demand they all keep sitting down and standing up on stools over and over again, but hey they’ve sold like a zillion records or something so they have the right to be superstitious.
LIKELIHOOD: 20%. This could have actually been a goer were it not for the tragic and untimely death of Stephen Gately. Maybe they could do a tribute show…
Despite their imposing and intimidating physical presence and Brian Harvey’s incredible ability to run himself over after eating a jacket potato, East 17 had some big hits and outsold TT by nearly a million copies in the early days. This combined with the ‘will they won’t they’ bromance of the Take That boys and you’ve got serious pull for the housewives.
LIKELIHOOD: 10%. On second thought Take That performing tunes like Stay Another Day with the three remaining members of East 17 (Harvey quit) is faintly depressing and let’s face it, Take That are doing alright for themselves.
Crossroads segueing into Ghetto Romance in the middle of the show. A thirty man pop-rap encore of Wonderful Tonight. A West Side Story style face off set to the strains of Flip-Reverse. Ok so they’re not the most pivotal pop songs of the last twenty years but these two had enough hits between them to put on a show.
LIKELIHOOD: 60%. I’m fairly confident about this one. It’ll just take someone to put them in touch. Actually can someone get on this, maybe start with Twitter…
With a name like a post code from space, the triple threat of number based bands A1, 911 and 5-ive is something to be reckoned with. Compiling the names of these bands might help 911 a bit too, as since the unfortunate events of 2001, they are virtually ungoogleable.
LIKELIHOOD: 100%. Definitely going to happen this one.
GIRL POWER ALTERNATIVES
As we know, girl bands are as awesome as boy bands. Just with a wider and lesser defined audience mostly made of up of horny teenage boys, camp gay kids and hyperactive girls.
SPICE GIRLS ALOUD
Come on lets face it the last spice girls reunion was a bit of a mess. Let’s do it properly and throw in Cheryl and Nadine for some added fireworks.
LIKELIHOOD: 70%. Don’t see why not. Would probably need Posh to stop messing about with jeans though.
Basically a cross gender dance explosion featuring the womanly sexuality and power of Destiny’s Child and the body popping dance moves and acrobatics of 5-ive.
LIKELIHOOD: if A19115 doesn’t work out, this might definitely happen. Just need to syncronise Beyonce’s iCal with Abs’.
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